Hello, Caroline! I am loving your substack, so fun to find you on the other side of motherhood and work after all these years. Thank you for making food fun for all of us out here. I find food very overwhelming as a mom and keep it very simple. Reading your recipes has given me some new energy and lots of laughs. Thank you. Also, what a beautiful poem. I feel the same way -- motherhood has been a transformation, but the woman within me still longs to live and have her life. It's what the poet Marie Howe calls the "dream of integration," and the search for one's subjectivity as we circle our little ones and care for the collective. <Buys Mejuri ear cuff>.
To respond to your query! I think motherhood has given me a lot of honor for what it takes to have a human/animal body. I have to lotion one of my daughters twice a day for her skin condition, and the lotioning gets on my hands and also prevents them from cracking. I see that caring for her can also care for me, in a way, even if sometimes it is just showing me how much I can neglect myself. I started treating myself (when I can remember) with the honor I would treat my daughter, putting on the lotion, brushing the hair. I want to create an ethos of care inside my home that spills over into the world... and that includes me. No one gets to be separated from care... especially not the caregiver...
Cliche, yes, but I REALLY DO appreciate the little joys in life more since becoming a mom!! Cool-shaped sticks, a tide pool, a very ordinary shell, a kiss on the cheek. They're so excited about it all and it's just infectious 🤍
As I was going through parenthood I would have aha moments when something occurred or we went through a season of illness or insufficient funds or hundreds of other circumstances where I realized my own mother said or did or acted a certain way because that was how she coped or thrived in similar situations. I didn’t understand until I experienced these situations that they couldn’t be avoided and shouldn't be despised as I did previously. She was gone before I could tell her that I had a better understanding of her. But it made me feel an affinity with her all the same.
What a great question! I had no idea what I got myself into when I became a parent, but it is better than I have ever expected. I promised myself to raise self-sufficient, independent adults. And through the journey of ups and downs where we are landing that one will be graduating high school and the other starting it, I want to spend every moment with they. They are caring, fun, and funny, insightful, honest ... I even turn dates with my husband into family dates because four of us together is the best. Through it all I still have to practice patience, watch my words, lecture less, and not laugh as loud. Teenagers are fun!
I have three year old twins. They have taught me so much about letting go. I used to let things at work really get to me after hours. Now I just don’t have time for that. Living life baggage free over here!
I’m having my first baby in August! I already love the little guy so much. I keep thinking about all the people in this world that were created and carried by women... even though we are all different, the universal truth that another human created and carried us connects us all. Women are amazing!
Motherhood has moved me outside of myself in so many ways, and it's hard to articulate what that really means but I want to try because I've been thinking on this for a week or two now. For the most part, I've noticed that since becoming a mother I'm much less quick to judge someone's actions and I give people more grace. I think the patience required in dealing with a baby -- newborn, sure, but especially now in toddlerhood -- has seeped into my bones. I don't understand what my 18 month old wants most of the time, so I have to pause and I have to get on her level (sometimes physically) and I have to really think about what she's saying. And I find myself doing that at work, or with my mom, or with a friend -- and it's really such a gift. I feel like I'm able to stand more fully in myself because I'm giving folks around me more space to be without my snap judgments or conclusions. Instead of operating on assumptions, I'm taking a minute to think -- what is she really asking for? what is my boss really reacting to? It's truly changed my life!
Before motherhood I often struggled with “not-enoughism?” if we can call it that. Not doing enough, being productive enough, looking fit enough, et cetera. Motherhood (to two children) has virtually, as my 4 yr old would say, “unrased” this problem for me. I can now really savor relaxation, doing little. Doing less. Enjoying “nothing” a whole lot more. Going easier on myself. Who knew?
Becoming a mother has forced me to have more patience, slow down, realize what is important, and it’s changed how I look at and see the world. I have so much more empathy. My mom died 10 weeks before my first child which also happened right at the beginning of Covid so becoming a mom and losing my mom taught me so much as well. I truly learned what is important in this life and it’s all so fleeting and can change in a second.
Becoming a mom has completely re-organized my priorites. Where I used to get super stressed about things at work or how I looked or whatever, now I'm able to say... eh! My family is happy and healthy and that's what matters most. The other stuff just ain't worth worrying about!
I have a 19 and 17 year old, and I am so into the people that they are! My eldest is transgender and I am in awe of his courage, and my daughter is smart and hilarious and fun. I had a troubled relationship with my own mom, especially as a teen, and I just delight in my two kids. Having them has made me more patient and truly, more fun.
Hello, Caroline! I am loving your substack, so fun to find you on the other side of motherhood and work after all these years. Thank you for making food fun for all of us out here. I find food very overwhelming as a mom and keep it very simple. Reading your recipes has given me some new energy and lots of laughs. Thank you. Also, what a beautiful poem. I feel the same way -- motherhood has been a transformation, but the woman within me still longs to live and have her life. It's what the poet Marie Howe calls the "dream of integration," and the search for one's subjectivity as we circle our little ones and care for the collective. <Buys Mejuri ear cuff>.
To respond to your query! I think motherhood has given me a lot of honor for what it takes to have a human/animal body. I have to lotion one of my daughters twice a day for her skin condition, and the lotioning gets on my hands and also prevents them from cracking. I see that caring for her can also care for me, in a way, even if sometimes it is just showing me how much I can neglect myself. I started treating myself (when I can remember) with the honor I would treat my daughter, putting on the lotion, brushing the hair. I want to create an ethos of care inside my home that spills over into the world... and that includes me. No one gets to be separated from care... especially not the caregiver...
Cliche, yes, but I REALLY DO appreciate the little joys in life more since becoming a mom!! Cool-shaped sticks, a tide pool, a very ordinary shell, a kiss on the cheek. They're so excited about it all and it's just infectious 🤍
Motherhood has made me appreciate my parents (and mom, especially!) so much more. I regularly call them to let them know as well!
As I was going through parenthood I would have aha moments when something occurred or we went through a season of illness or insufficient funds or hundreds of other circumstances where I realized my own mother said or did or acted a certain way because that was how she coped or thrived in similar situations. I didn’t understand until I experienced these situations that they couldn’t be avoided and shouldn't be despised as I did previously. She was gone before I could tell her that I had a better understanding of her. But it made me feel an affinity with her all the same.
What a great question! I had no idea what I got myself into when I became a parent, but it is better than I have ever expected. I promised myself to raise self-sufficient, independent adults. And through the journey of ups and downs where we are landing that one will be graduating high school and the other starting it, I want to spend every moment with they. They are caring, fun, and funny, insightful, honest ... I even turn dates with my husband into family dates because four of us together is the best. Through it all I still have to practice patience, watch my words, lecture less, and not laugh as loud. Teenagers are fun!
I have three year old twins. They have taught me so much about letting go. I used to let things at work really get to me after hours. Now I just don’t have time for that. Living life baggage free over here!
I’m having my first baby in August! I already love the little guy so much. I keep thinking about all the people in this world that were created and carried by women... even though we are all different, the universal truth that another human created and carried us connects us all. Women are amazing!
Motherhood has moved me outside of myself in so many ways, and it's hard to articulate what that really means but I want to try because I've been thinking on this for a week or two now. For the most part, I've noticed that since becoming a mother I'm much less quick to judge someone's actions and I give people more grace. I think the patience required in dealing with a baby -- newborn, sure, but especially now in toddlerhood -- has seeped into my bones. I don't understand what my 18 month old wants most of the time, so I have to pause and I have to get on her level (sometimes physically) and I have to really think about what she's saying. And I find myself doing that at work, or with my mom, or with a friend -- and it's really such a gift. I feel like I'm able to stand more fully in myself because I'm giving folks around me more space to be without my snap judgments or conclusions. Instead of operating on assumptions, I'm taking a minute to think -- what is she really asking for? what is my boss really reacting to? It's truly changed my life!
Motherhood has made me appreciate how incredible our bodies are (you can make a whole person?!) and to actually try to be nice to yourself!
Before motherhood I often struggled with “not-enoughism?” if we can call it that. Not doing enough, being productive enough, looking fit enough, et cetera. Motherhood (to two children) has virtually, as my 4 yr old would say, “unrased” this problem for me. I can now really savor relaxation, doing little. Doing less. Enjoying “nothing” a whole lot more. Going easier on myself. Who knew?
Unrased 😭🤍 you’re doing great mama!!
Well, it's changed my boobs for one!! But also, it's helped me realize how much patience I can have, and just how fun and goofy I can be. :)
Becoming a mother has forced me to have more patience, slow down, realize what is important, and it’s changed how I look at and see the world. I have so much more empathy. My mom died 10 weeks before my first child which also happened right at the beginning of Covid so becoming a mom and losing my mom taught me so much as well. I truly learned what is important in this life and it’s all so fleeting and can change in a second.
Motherhood has made me appreciate the little things in life.
Motherhood has made me appreciate my own mom and every single mom out there. This is so hard - we are amazing.
Becoming a mom has completely re-organized my priorites. Where I used to get super stressed about things at work or how I looked or whatever, now I'm able to say... eh! My family is happy and healthy and that's what matters most. The other stuff just ain't worth worrying about!
I have a 19 and 17 year old, and I am so into the people that they are! My eldest is transgender and I am in awe of his courage, and my daughter is smart and hilarious and fun. I had a troubled relationship with my own mom, especially as a teen, and I just delight in my two kids. Having them has made me more patient and truly, more fun.