my tips for dating your spouse, and the book i can't stop talking about

so into that #40

Hi!!! How’s your week going? My life is still so flip turned upside down with all of the travel that I’m doing for my book tour right now, but I’m home this entire week through next Wednesday when I leave for the TEXAS leg!! (If you’re a Texan and want to come hang, there are still some tix available!!!)

George and I had a much needed night out last night — pedicures and Mexican food — and it was a lovely reminder of how much we like each other when there aren’t three small beasts squawking at us and telling us how much they hate what we cooked for dinner :) I am deeply obsessed with my children, and I really like George when they’re around, too, but lately *all* I have had time for is kids-work-kids-work on a nonstop loop, so it felt very good to break that cycle last night.

We like to trade off who plans the date to eliminate the “well, what do you want to do?” “whatever you want to do…” drudgery of date night and make it feel exciting and fresh, instead. George had no idea we were getting pedicures until I told him to turn right into the parking lot! He probably would have said no if I’d told him ahead of time, and he loved it!

Sometimes when we need help getting into a meaningful conversation versus just the “what’s up at work?” or kid logistics that can shroud a date night for parents, we’ll revisit the NYT’s “36 Questions That Lead To Love” and pick out a few to ask each other.

This is a fun one to revisit every few years, what we value about ourselves and our life story can change so quickly:

“Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.”

If you’re on a tight budget but similarly need to have an adults-only night to remember how much you like your spouse, might I suggest getting the kids to bed as early as possible, then cooking TOGETHER? Like truly cooking together. Phones away, turn on a really great cooking playlist, pour some wine or make a little NA mocktail, find a rhythm of cooking together. Since you’re cooking once the kids are down, I recommend the butter-basted steaks and swiss chard from the 15 minute chapter of the book so that you can still hopefully eat before 8:30pm. But seriously, you have to cook it together, OK?! That’s the part that gives your brain the positive feedback loop of: hey, you are doing something fun that led to something delicious with that person, we like them, we want to have sex with them! Hey, I am just being very honest that the hustle of parenting can make your brain forget how into your spouse you really are. Remind it with steaks.

Next week we’re going to do an Ask Me Anything issue of So Into That! So, ask me anything! Food, marriage, kids, cookbook writing, Substack authoring… watcha got? I’ll pick a wide variety and answer them next Wednesday!

1. I launched my first big product collab (use code CARO for a big discount!!) this week!!!! My kids have loved Skout bars for 4+ years now, which is a very long time in kid snack world. They tire of other snacks, but never of Skout bars! Dates make up the base of Skout’s organic snack bars, and we are big date lovers in this fam. Our bar is oatmeal raisin chocolate chip cookie in bar form!!! (It doesn’t actually have any oats in it, FYI!) Thank you for supporting this cool, big thing I got to create with a brand I adore. 

2. I’m a big fan of ​​Big Fan!!!! (Sorry, I had to do it.) Happiest, smartest, swooniest, most addictive romance novel I have read in a long time. If you don’t consider yourself a romance reader but you’d like to start reading more, give this one a shot! It’s quick, witty, intelligent, and sexy. Romance readers: it has The Idea of You vibes, but with a happy ending!!! Plus they recorded a real song that you can listen to on Spotify to fully bring you into the Charlie Blake universe! I can’t stop thinking/talking about this book!!!!!

3. I discovered these cheap, chic drinking glasses on set at my cookbook shoot last summer and I’ve been obsessed with them ever since. It’s so nice that when one breaks you can genuinely be like, oh it’s no biggie. Note: as I was about to do the final edit of this newsletter, I read the most recent edition of

   Big Salad
   and saw Joanna linked to a cheap drinking glass she loves! Hers come in a set of 6, should you need less than 12, and are similarly cheap and chic!

4. I’ve worn more makeup in the past 5 weeks of book tour than I have my entire adult life, and I’ve gotten *pretty darn good* at doing it myself. But the two biggest things my girl Julia at the Sephora in Union Square taught me about how to keep makeup looking fresh all day? Setting spray and lip liner!!! Who knew?! (Maybe you did.) For the setting spray, I just spritz it all over my face after doing my makeup and it really makes a difference, especially when I’m running around all day. For the lip liner, just find a color that matches your fave lipstick and then line your lips (here’s a tutorial! You can make your lips look so much bigger in a good way!!). Hot tip: Ilia’s beige pink lip liner goes perfectly with my go-to everyday and occasion lipstick, Merit Signature Lip in Baby. 

5. I found myself nodding my head and smiling while reading this

   Platonic Love
   essay “18 things I give zero fucks about since becoming a mom.”  

6. I watched this video and immediately ordered these candles to surprise the boys. They are SO INTO Halloween!!!

   

7. My dad is the king of playlists and I asked him to help me put together a playlist for cozy fall listening AKA the perfect playlist to listen to while you’re making a pot of soup. Here you go.

8. In the US, wayyy too many teachers don’t get the funding they need to set their classrooms up for success and end up buying supplies like crayons and books out of their own pockets.

   the smitten kitchen digest
   ’s wishlist project is an amazing resource that makes it super easy to donate and help support both teachers and kids!!

5. From my guest editor,

   Sarah Levy
   : I got sober in my twenties and it’s been so cool to see the non-alcoholic beverage landscape blow up over the last few years. I love a club soda, but sometimes it’s fun to sip on something special. I’ve been into Ghia’s Le Fizz this week; the strawberry and orange blossom flavors are sweet but tart and the bubbles make it feel festive. Cheers!

6. Also from Sarah: I pretty much live in t-shirts, and this one from Everlane has officially become my favorite. It’s the perfect slightly cropped length and easy to throw on with jeans or high waisted pants. I have it in far too many colors.

What to Cook launched in December 2020, meaning there are more than 175 recipes in the archives! Here’s what we cooked this week last year, and the year before that, and the year before that.

Ham and Fig Grilled Cheese, 2023

Wow, I forgot it was fig season!! These would be delicious with the roasted peanut carrot soup in the book, or with the tomato soup from the archives.

Crispy Bean Burritos, 2022

This is a major WTC cult fave. Make rice and beans in one pot, then stuff them into burritos for dinner or to stock your freezer. Since I get asked all the time what a nice thing to drop off for a new mom / friend who needs a meal would be — THESE. If I was postpartum and someone handed me a giant ziploc full of frozen burritos I would kiss them on the mouth.

Sheet-Pan Poblano Steak Fajitas, 2021

These fajitas are genuinely perfect. And there are so many ways to enjoy the leftovers. This is a wonderful cook it now + enjoy it for many days to come meal.