musings on marrying my husband twice
and what I'm cooking to celebrate 10 years
Today is George’s and my 10-year wedding anniversary! If you’re a longtime follower and you’re thinking — wait, didn’t you celebrate your 10-year anniversary last year? — yes, you are correct, we sure did.
Like many military couples, George and I have two wedding anniversaries — our first, June 21, 2012, is the day that we got married at New York City Hall. Three weeks prior, George had proposed in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, where we both went to college.
Less than an hour after proposing, he threw the next curveball at me — “and I want to get married before I deploy in August”.
George’s SEAL team was planning a pre-deployment hoo-yah (I don’t even know how to put this in civilian language — basically, a pump up?) trip to New York City, which culminated in a behind-the-scenes tour of the then-under-construction Freedom Tower and 9/11 Memorial and museum. There was also lots of debauchery with my girlfriends, but I’ll save that story for another day.
George, a young officer at the time, was in charge of planning the trip, and being the wonderfully Type A man that he is, he had already slotted a perfect time for us to get married into his scheduled time in New York City — June 21st at 8am.
All of which he sprung on me just minutes after springing a completely, entirely unexpected proposal on me. His commitment to schedules, even at the most inopportune moments, remains steadfast, even 10 years later.
A lot of couples who get legally married before their wedding celebration choose to keep it a secret that they are already, technically, husband and wife. So that the wedding feels appropriately special, and the whole “already married” bit doesn’t take away from the magic of the wedding.
We considered this, and then our friends threw us an engagement party with lots and lots of margaritas, and by the end of the night we were, quite literally, shouting it from the rooftops. We got married two days later, and absolutely everyone in lower Manhattan knew it was happening.
We kept the ceremony intimate despite our tequila mouths, just the two of us at New York City Hall, married in a matter of moments by a justice of the peace with the thickest Brooklyn accent you’ve ever heard.
It was perfect.
One deployment to Afghanistan later, and George returned home just in the knick of time for the real party, our wedding in my hometown of Winston-Salem, North Carolina. To this day, I like to call it George’s surprise welcome home party, because he quite literally knew zero details about the entire wedding until showing up at it.
If June 21, 2012 was the hottest day on record in New York City, August 10th might have been the rainiest day on record in Winston-Salem. It was a veritable monsoon. Two hours before the ceremony, my wedding coordinator (hi Janie Sellers!) told me that I had to make the call to move the ceremony indoors to the backup location.
I had walked through the garden where we were supposed to hold our ceremony, just half a mile from my parents house, almost every single day while George was deployed, picturing getting (re-)married to him in front of all of our people. I was seriously bummed.
Knowing me best, my cousins saw the disappointment on my face and started scheming.
Two hours later, they showed up to the ceremony with every single umbrella available for purchase in a 15 mile radius of the wedding. We got married in the pouring rain, our wedding guests huddled under Dollar Tree umbrellas, thunder booming in the distance.
It, too, was perfect.
Fast forward ten years, and I’m sitting here on the couch at midnight writing about what, in the romance books I love, would be the happily ever after of the story. The wedding is often the final chapter, the culmination of so much anticipation.
But as you know if you’re also married to your dream guy or gal, the wedding is, in reality, only the very first page of the book.
As I write this, our three beautiful boys are all finally snoozing after an epic bedtime game of musical beds — Cash is in Calum’s room, Calum’s in my bed with George, and I am about to crawl in bed with Mattis, only to be punched and kicked all night long.
We are living the kind of fabulously chaotic life that I didn’t even know was a possibility. How can I feel so drowned in the madness one minute, and so in awe of the fact that this gets to be my madness the next?
George is in charge of June 21st celebrations, and I’m in charge of August 10th celebrations. For our June birthday-versary, I always request to be feted royally. The fanciest new restaurant! A spa day! For all of my best friends in the world to magically show up on my doorstep!
For our August 10th wedding anniversary, it has become a tradition, as mandated by George, that I am not to spend a single dollar. I make magic happen with whatever we already have in the house.
I just took inventory, and here’s what I’m cooking Georgie for dinner tomorrow. George, stop reading now!
a special meal at home
The champagne that our friends Alli and Gardie’s family brought when they came over for dinner a few weeks ago. It looks fancy!
A caesar salad for the man who orders a caesar at every single possible opportunity, but loves mine the most. I’ve got romaine in the fridge, old bread for croutons in the freezer, and there are always anchovies and parm lingering about.
No-stir brown rice mushroom risotto which I will ask our fabulous sitter, Quinn, to cook because it is incredibly simple and the baby snoozes most of the time she’s here.
Caesar halibut, which I promise to write a recipe for and share here soon. But basically, I rub my caesar dressing all over halibut and bake it, and it’s outrageously good. It’s a concept borrowed from Queen Ina. George caught a bunch of halibut on a fishing trip in June, and he feels tremendously proud every time I cook it, so this will have the wonderful double whammy effect of being both tasty and inflating his ego.
Because the risotto and halibut are both soft textures, I’ll serve the halibut over the risotto, and sprinkle the walnut crunch from the risotto recipe all over both the halibut and the risotto.
That’s it! Simple, full of love, zero (extra) dollars.
“ How can I feel so drowned in the madness one minute, and so in awe of the fact that this gets to be my madness the next?” I love this! Thank you for putting words to this feeling ❤️
I already knew your story but man if I’m not sitting here welling up a little bit! You’re such a fabulous reminder to stop, take a breath, and wonder at the absolute chaos that surrounds us.