how to throw a really fun shower
baby, bridal, or a special birthday party!
I’ve hosted several bridal and baby showers, birthdays, book launches, etc. for friends over the past few years, and I’ve got it down to a pretty good science that emphasizes: 1) the mom-to-be, bride-to-be or birthday girl being the queen for the day, 2) the hosts actually being able to enjoy themselves, and 3) the food being absolutely delicious. So today I’m sharing the intel I’ve gathered over the years, along with some photos from a recent shower I threw with friends for my dear friend Charlotte, who is having a baby girl in May!
Using a quality chef’s knife is important for cooking any meal quickly and efficiently, but it’s truly imperative when cooking for a big group. Hacking away with a dull blade for hours will suck the joy and fun right out of prepping for an event (or just cooking your family dinner night after night). If you’re due for a knife upgrade, I can’t recommend Victorinox’s Wood Collection more highly. I use either their chef’s knife or santoku daily, whether I’m cutting the crusts off my boys’ sandwiches or prepping lunch for 20. The wood handle is beautiful, comfy to hold, surprisingly lightweight, and the Swiss-made blade will last forever (they offer a lifetime warranty!!). Also, have you watched my knife skills video tutorial yet?! If not, it’s time! PS, from Molly from What To Cook: I invested in a Victorinox Wood Santoku last year and it has truly changed the game in my kitchen. I had no idea how hard my old knife was making me work until I got this one!1
Time of day // I like a lunch versus a brunch. I think lunch food is more interesting, you don’t have to wake up at 6am to start cooking, and I think spending a lazy afternoon gabbing and drinking wine with friends is more fun than a morning meet up, which feels a bit more prim and proper. But that’s just my take! A dinner party shower would be extremely chic, but that doesn’t work with my family life. George was able to take all the boys out of the house for the entire afternoon, but nighttime would obviously be trickier.
Drink station // Set up a drink station, and if there are multiple hosts, assign one host “drink duty.” She can go around filling up wine and water glasses all day, even though there’s a drink station. These little touches make an at-home event memorable — it feels good to be taken care of as a guest! And don’t forget to set up a pitcher or dispenser with water and disposable cups!!!! For any party you ever throw. Nothing is more annoying than every single cup in your house being dirtied because every single guest needed one sip of water.
Tunes // The music is so important for setting the vibe. You can use music to set different vibes throughout the day! I like to kick off with a loud girly playlist while people are arriving and grabbing a drink and then put on some more background-y music during the meal. My dad and I made this playlist for Mother’s Day last year and it’s pretty cute for a baby shower.
Event flow // I like to think through the flow of an event and how to make it feel like an event versus just a group of women gathering for lunch. I like to roughly map out a beginning, middle, and end.
Beginning: For Charlotte’s baby shower, which had a noon start time, guests arrived and gathered on the covered patio where we had fun, loud music playing, a beautiful cheeseboard, and a “welcome drink” — a beautiful pink grapefruit Paloma. We had this “arrival” moment until about 12:50.
Middle: Then we moved to the main event: the meal! We had all of the food 100% ready to go (minus dressing the salad!) before the event, but we left it all indoors until right before serving. People get really tripped up about serving food hot — but most meat, roasted veg, grilled veg, etc. are delicious at room temperature. The hosts (and some other pals) carried the platters down to the table we had set up as a buffet starting at about 12:40, filled the waters, then invited all of the guests to head down to the area where we had set up our luncheon table.
End: I really like a transition moment from meal to post-meal. Otherwise people are sort of ready to move and get away from their finished plate of food, but they aren’t sure what’s next or what to do. A short and sweet toast is a great way to either end, or transition the party to the next phase. When I looked around and noticed that everyone was finished eating, I stood up, said a few words about our dear friend, and invited everyone to head back up to the covered patio for more drinks and dessert.
We wanted a long, hang out-y afternoon because this was a group of close friends, so there was no official “end” to this party. But a “goodbye!” toast at the end of a meal is a great way to end an event. “Thank you all so much for being here, it’s been so lovely having you!” (Subtext: it’s been fun, now tah tah!!)
Gifts // Create a landing place for gifts so that people aren’t wandering around holding them, wondering what to do! I pulled a pretty bench up from the garden for people to put their gifts on right at the entrance. Ask the mom-to-be ahead of time if they want to open gifts at the event, or on their own afterwards. For some people, it’s their biggest nightmare to have to open gifts in front of everyone!
Games // I always love participating in a game at showers I attend, but I’m not one to facilitate them at showers I host. Instead, I love a table talk moment — a moment where the entire large group can all have one central conversation, instead of lots of separate conversations. You know when you leave a party, and you’re like “dangit, I didn’t even get to say hi to Sarah!” Table talk eliminates that feeling. If you’re hosting a seated meal, pass around a bowl with pieces of paper and a pen in it. Ask everyone to write down a fun question. Go around the table, letting each person pick a question and answer it. “What do you admire about the person sitting to your left? What’s something big you hope to do in the next year? What’s the most fun trip you’ve ever taken?” You can also make it more on-theme for a bridal or baby shower. “What’s the most surprising thing about motherhood? Tell us a story about when you felt proud as a new mom? What’s your favorite thing about being a girl?!”
A few of my friends threw me and my friends Amy and Gray a joint baby shower for our third babies. It was a really sweet lunch in San Francisco that followed this same flow, but the “end” was a fun gifting game. Since it was all of our third babies and none of us actually needed anything new, guests had been given a price range and instructed to bring one gift to pamper the mom (not for the baby). We had a White Elephant-style gift opening where the three of us went around in a circle and we could steal each other’s gift, or choose to open a new one. It was so much fun.
The more hosts the merrier! You want anyone who feels close to the honoree to feel included! Shoot out a text to the honoree’s pals and say “hey, I want to host a party for our friend, don’t feel obligated at all, I know we’re all busy! I’m thinking we’ll all spend around $____.” I think stating the financial obligation is really nice, if possible.
If budget allows, consider hiring someone to help with clean up so that the hosts can enjoy themselves a bit more fully. In San Francisco, my friends and I have hired TaskRabbits many times for this task!
Setting the table with real plates and cloth napkins is a wonderful luxury, but it does require more cleanup! We’re sharing a few ideas below that use “real” tableware, plus a few favorite brands that we turn to when nicer paper goods are the answer.
Non-mobile babies are always invited to baby showers :)
I love a graze-y snacky party, but there’s something really special about a sit-down meal! My friend Jess (a fabulous artist and cook) and I obsessed over this menu for weeks. We finally landed on this one and it was really fantastic.
Yogurt marinated grilled chicken thighs with a Green goddess sauce (add a bit more Greek yogurt to make it thicker like a sauce versus a dressing)
Little gems (a small romaine-esque lettuce) with radishes, avocado, chives, and an herby vinaigrette
Yeast rolls with salted honey butter (just good local honey stirred into salted Kerrygold butter!) and chive butter (chives and garlic powder stirred into salted butter)
A tablescape that feels thoughtful and planned out can really make the party! Here’s how I approach it:
Pick a simple color story // You don’t need a “theme,” but it’s nice to have a little cohesion. I choose two or three colors and let them guide the plates, napkins, tablecloths, florals, and any other little accents. This makes a table feel pulled together without trying too hard.
Add a fresh element // We did big fancy floral focal points because one of my co-hosts is a floral designer! It felt very special. But simple florals really feel special too. Here are some tips if you’re DIY-ing and not an expert florist:
Stick to ONE type of flower: I love grabbing a bunch of the $4 chamomile bunches at Trader Joe’s — they look so whimsical and sweet! Put them in small bud vases all down the table.
Go foraging in your yard. Olive branches, eucalyptus, rosemary, lavender, azalea — you can get creative here.
Herbs in little jars. Mint sprigs smell heavenly!
PS for Monterey locals: Jenna Edwards did the flowers pictured above (and does them for all of my shoots!) and is incredible.
Use a checklist // If you’re a list person, here are the elements I take into account when setting a special table:
Folding tables // I own three 6-foot tables.
Chairs // If you have enough chairs around your house that you can mix and match to seat enough people, do that! I don’t, so I invested in a few sets of these pretty, simple, wooden folding chairs to keep in the garage forever and ever for parties.
Base tablecloth layer // when using a folding table, use a cheap table cover so that the legs don’t show under your pretty tablecloth, which are rarely long enough to reach the ground.
Tablecloth // I own a billion tablecloths. Lots of ideas below!
Plates (real or paper), sometimes set on chargers or placemats, or sometimes by themselves. Lots of ideas below!
Pretty napkins. Lots of ideas below!
Flatware (aka utensils). If you host a lot of parties and don’t own enough of your regular flatware to serve everyone, you might invest in an inexpensive set of 20 or so!
Glassware. I own a lot of glassware but not enough of one set to serve 20+ people. We mixed and matched and that was fine! But if you want to get a big matching set, these glasses rock and are so cheap, less than $2 per glass.
A few serving platters/bowls
A fresh element (flowers, greens, or herbs)
For Charlotte’s shower I invested in a few pieces from Over the Moon that I know I’ll use over and over again, but there are so many beautiful tablecloth, napkin, and plate combos out there! Here we’re sharing the items I used, plus many others that have a similar vibe, in a range of price points.
A really good tablecloth is such a vibe!!!
French forest harvest tablecloth, $105-260
Block-printed table cloth, $42-$180 (can purchased with matching napkins!)
Classic linen tablecloth, $55-65
Scallop-edged solid tablecloth, $23-36
Blue flower plates, $110/plate
Italian earthenware plates, $36/plate
Porcelain floral plates, $25/plate
Melamine azul plates, $8/plate
Americano paper plates, $1.80/plate
Fun girly paper plates, $1.50/plate
Forest harvest napkins $17.50/napkin
Block printed cotton napkins, $18/napkin
Floral block print napkins, $7/napkin
Pear paper napkins, $.45/napkin - link not affiliate
Floral or plaid paper napkins, $.40/napkin
Paper napkins with a linen feel, $.40/napkin
You don’t need everything to match, but you need a lot of great serving platters if you like hosting!
Stoneware oval platter, $220
Stoneware floral serving dish, on sale and under $20
Extra extra!!
A small menu — there are so many great canva templates! Or, write it out!
A runner, chargers, or placemats (these are the ones we used for the baby shower and are $3/each!)
Click Cameras! Disposable cameras that come with a pre-addressed return envelope. You send them back, and they upload all the digital files and email them to you within a few days. I’m obsessed with them.
Healdsburg is my favorite town in Sonoma, and I’ve now rented Dry Creek Wonderland, which is quite possibly the most perfect rental house I’ve ever stayed in, twice with different groups of friends. It has four king bedrooms plus an attic bunk room that would be amazing for little kids. It also has an amazing pool, pool deck, and yard. It’s right near all the best vineyards. I have a promo code for you! CARO10. Use it to get 10% off.
I love Brandi Carlile (and Amy Poehler) so much. Amy Poehler is one of those celebrities who I feel like I know personally because I’ve re-watched Parks and Rec so many times.
Shopping for my Kentucky Derby outfits!!! The CAFÉ team invited me and George as guests! Do I need to wear a hat? I have a huge head! I’m attempting to shop my closet but nothing feels quite right!
I have been wearing these pants nonstop. They feel like athleisure but look much dressier, and they’ve gone very viral with the fashion girls because they look chic, and also they never wrinkle so are perfect for travel. Many people have messaged me that these Old Navy dupes are excellent, but report that they do wrinkle.
From Molly from What To Cook: I wore these turquoise and bezel CZ earrings on Easter and several people asked where they’re from.. I also got a bigger pair of bezel CZs to wear to a wedding this weekend.
Accept people’s bids and instantly improve your relationships.
I just finished The Poison Daughter and it was so satisfying to read a romantasy that is only ONE book. No waiting around for a year for the next book in the series to drop! Katie of Beach Reads & Bubbly texted me to read it and whenever she does that, I know she means business. I loved it — a mythical world where those with the strongest magic hold the most power, there’s a zombie / vampire situation, enemies to lovers, all the good stuff!
I love a button down dress and recently got this one for adventuring in Mexico with the big boys next week. I can’t stop wearing it. So light, flattering, comfy! My friend Mary Pell was wearing this one when she was here visiting in March and it looked and felt very high quality but is $30!
What are you into right now? Tell us the first thing that comes to your head! I’ll choose FIVE commenters to be the lucky recipients of our second installment of Illegal (But Actually Totally Legal And Approved by The Author) Bookclub!!!! Next up: my favorite romance of the year so far — DOLLY ALL THE TIME by Annabel Monaghan! You’ll receive the ARC (advanced reader copy) six weeks before the book publishes!!! The one rule of illegal bookclub is that you must leave a review on GoodReads / Amazon / all the places and pass your copy on to a friend and instruct them to do the same! The entire point is to hype up the book and help it get lots of eyeballs. Yay, we love authors!
Every week, we dig into the What To Cook archives to see what we were cooking this time in years past — the recipes worth bringing back into your rotation. Here’s this week’s springy lineup.
1. crispy fish and lemon butter spring veg
A very springy dinner with crisp, golden fish nestled into a buttery lemony mix of asparagus, peas, and corn, plus a punchy hot honey sauce to bring it all together. It feels light and fresh, but still rich and satisfying.!
2. shrimp, sausage, and veggie paella
Smoky sausage, juicy shrimp, and rice that soaks up every bit of garlicky, paprika-spiced flavor — all baked together until deeply savory and a little bit crispy around the edges. Finished with a bright lemony aioli, this one feels like a big, celebratory pan of food without a ton of effort.
3. crispy farro with sausage and asparagus
Toasty, golden farro with crispy bits of sausage and tender asparagus, all tied together with a splash of vinegar that keeps it punchy and balanced. It’s chewy, crispy, and just a little saucy. We loved this tip from Hannah T: “This was so great and maybe was even better as leftovers for breakfast with a fried egg on top?! YUM!”
4. beef bulgogi bowls
Thinly sliced beef in a salty-sweet, deeply savory marinade that caramelizes quickly in the pan, then piled over rice with whatever toppings you’re craving. The build-your-own situation makes this especially fun and kid-friendly! From WTCer Carrie: “I think if I could only eat one meal for the rest of time, this would be it. My 9 year old said it was the best dinner he’s ever had!”
5. roasted asparagus farro-tto
A WTC cult fave! Creamy, cheesy farro cooked risotto-style (without the constant stirring), finished with roasted asparagus and fresh herbs. It’s cozy and rich, but the farro keeps it from feeling too heavy. It’s a great vegetarian dinner that still feels like a full, satisfying meal.
PS, HUGE congrats to Natalie Y., the winner of the Sophie James wine tasting experience giveaway!
We use affiliate links when sharing product recs, which means we may earn a small commission off of purchases you make through those links. This does not cost you anything extra and is a way to support the production of and team behind What to Cook. Sponsorships are another way we partner with brands that we authentically love and can personally vouch for.
Thank you to Victorinox for sponsoring today’s So Into That!
And authors love you right back, Caro! Thank you so much for reading and hyping. I am getting so excited that i am now going to celebrate by buying myself those napkins
So into audiobooks while doing chores at night!