In 2019, my husband had to have emergency brain surgery. One of the moms in my daughter’s daycare class made her lunch, complete with snacks, every day for the entire week he was in the hospital. We weren’t even great friends, but it was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me. I think about it all the time.
And now I’m crying again. Thank you for being so generous. I’m excited to have won the giveaway! I, too, have been the recipient of SO MUCH kindness in the last year that it’ll make me cry just thinking about it.
I have a hubby undergoing treatment for Lung cancer, and my friends have SHOWN UP much like yours during your pregnancy. Honestly, the kindest thing has been the offer of “please let me carry your darkest thoughts, say them and release them to me to worry about for you”. Reading a book currently (The river is waiting, Wally Lamb, because apparently I live to read the saddest thing during scary times?!) that said (paraphrasing) don’t let tomorrow’s worries rob you of today’s strength. My friend(s) are the personification of that thought!
Offer to come over to babysit their kids after bedtime so they can have a date night. It’s as easy for you to binge watch/read at some one else’s house as it is your own and it’s such a treat for a couple to get a free date night— even if it’s just a couple hours.
I’ve gone through a bit of a hard time the past six months (divorce and second baby all at once) and so many friends have dropped off beautiful meals. I hate having lots of random Tupperware, so each time someone drops something off, I write their name on a piece of painters tape and put it on the container so I remember who to return it to. I then bake a few batches of slice and bake cookies and fill the clean Tupperware with those and return it to them. So much nicer than returning an empty container! If I’m feeling ambitious I will even include a note.
I had an unexpected ICU stay in the spring. While I was there a friend/neighbor texted ‘what do you need from the store?’ I normally would have politely declined, but I was concerned my husband couldn’t buy his own toilet paper so I told her honestly we were close to running out. She bought me a Sam’s club sized pack of toilet paper, chicken nuggets and Mac and cheese for the kids, and pinwheels for my husband. It was the kindest act, and it taught me that it’s okay to accept help!
My little boy was hospitalized for a head injury at the pool. A neighbor used AI to turn a picture of our kids into a coloring sheet and brought it to the hospital for my son. So kind!!!
The best advice I have is: Do something (and late is not bad)
But these are my favorites:
-Root beer and candy cigarettes after a long day (these just made an appearance after a friend’s husband’s funeral, because nothing says “this stinks” like beer and cigarettes)
-The low pressure wellness check that only needs a like or heart reaction: my go to is the penguin hug gif. A friend sends a pic of their backyard
-Going someplace kid friendly for girl time- we take the kiddo to the zoo and walk and talk while he watches the animals (if we are lucky, he naps through lunch)
-Trader Joe’s cards with the corniest/bad/groan-worthy jokes instead of something heavy and stick it in the mail. I tend to do this when hospitals bills are showing up for some “not bills” mail.
-My favorite to receive was cheap eyeliner in wild colors with a note that said “If you are gonna ugly cry, ugly cry rainbows”
-Showing up after it is cool (I love dropping a new baby gift 3-6 months in, after the others have stopped but the hormones have not)
-If it is a long term hospital stay (more than 2 nights) spoil the nurses station - we brought caffeine drinks during the last one, but I’ve done bagels and good coffee as well
- A long distance friend sends my birthday card a month late every year so that my birthday is a longer celebration
- I love giving mini bottles of Möet for the overlooked life moments that don’t have a party
-Fancy olive oil and balsamic vinegar for both new houses and when houses are paid off
- I send my friends’ moms texts when they become grandmas
- I hosted a baby shower for a very overwhelmed mom to be. I asked her the theme and the date and then told everyone else it was a surprise party so they wouldn’t ask her questions. And we did a group gift of the big ticket items and I put a bow on it because she said she did not want people staring at her while she opened the gifts.
- One friend just lost her husband, the biggest thing for her is making sure she still feels seen. It may not be every day, but letting her know I know how awesome she is has been a big focus
- Just show up. Even if you are told to leave it on the porch, even if showing up is via DoorDash or Amazon, even if showing up is accidentally sending macarons to the person with a nut allergy 🙈 people won’t forget how you made them feel
My favorite way to love on my friends is to hand write them letters and send them in the mail!! There's just something about snail mail that hits differently ❤️
In 2019, my husband had to have emergency brain surgery. One of the moms in my daughter’s daycare class made her lunch, complete with snacks, every day for the entire week he was in the hospital. We weren’t even great friends, but it was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me. I think about it all the time.
This is such an unreal, small but huge way to show care. Wow!!!!
And now I’m crying again. Thank you for being so generous. I’m excited to have won the giveaway! I, too, have been the recipient of SO MUCH kindness in the last year that it’ll make me cry just thinking about it.
We are just so happy for you and so excited to get to spread a little more kindness your way!!!
I have a hubby undergoing treatment for Lung cancer, and my friends have SHOWN UP much like yours during your pregnancy. Honestly, the kindest thing has been the offer of “please let me carry your darkest thoughts, say them and release them to me to worry about for you”. Reading a book currently (The river is waiting, Wally Lamb, because apparently I live to read the saddest thing during scary times?!) that said (paraphrasing) don’t let tomorrow’s worries rob you of today’s strength. My friend(s) are the personification of that thought!
Wow, yes. The gift of receiving and carrying your darkest thoughts is such a huge one. Thank you, I will remember this <3
It's little but a random venmo for a coffee or drink on an important day can go a long way even if you aren't nearby to give something in person
Offer to come over to babysit their kids after bedtime so they can have a date night. It’s as easy for you to binge watch/read at some one else’s house as it is your own and it’s such a treat for a couple to get a free date night— even if it’s just a couple hours.
"I'm headed to Costco; who needs berries/anything?" is basically my favorite love poem
YES. We are so far from Costco/ Trader Joe's up in the valley that my friends are soo good about this.
Remembering all of their big (and little) moments by putting them in my calendar and shooting them a quick note day of!
YES! "remember xyz's kid has surgery today" in my calendar has made me such a better friend!!!!
I’ve gone through a bit of a hard time the past six months (divorce and second baby all at once) and so many friends have dropped off beautiful meals. I hate having lots of random Tupperware, so each time someone drops something off, I write their name on a piece of painters tape and put it on the container so I remember who to return it to. I then bake a few batches of slice and bake cookies and fill the clean Tupperware with those and return it to them. So much nicer than returning an empty container! If I’m feeling ambitious I will even include a note.
I had an unexpected ICU stay in the spring. While I was there a friend/neighbor texted ‘what do you need from the store?’ I normally would have politely declined, but I was concerned my husband couldn’t buy his own toilet paper so I told her honestly we were close to running out. She bought me a Sam’s club sized pack of toilet paper, chicken nuggets and Mac and cheese for the kids, and pinwheels for my husband. It was the kindest act, and it taught me that it’s okay to accept help!
My little boy was hospitalized for a head injury at the pool. A neighbor used AI to turn a picture of our kids into a coloring sheet and brought it to the hospital for my son. So kind!!!
I love making friends a random bouquet that I make on a Trader Joe’s trip and dropping it off at their house!
For friends that live far away… DoorDash or uber eats them local cookies or yummy pastries they wouldn’t buy themselves when they need a smile!
The best advice I have is: Do something (and late is not bad)
But these are my favorites:
-Root beer and candy cigarettes after a long day (these just made an appearance after a friend’s husband’s funeral, because nothing says “this stinks” like beer and cigarettes)
-The low pressure wellness check that only needs a like or heart reaction: my go to is the penguin hug gif. A friend sends a pic of their backyard
-Going someplace kid friendly for girl time- we take the kiddo to the zoo and walk and talk while he watches the animals (if we are lucky, he naps through lunch)
-Trader Joe’s cards with the corniest/bad/groan-worthy jokes instead of something heavy and stick it in the mail. I tend to do this when hospitals bills are showing up for some “not bills” mail.
-My favorite to receive was cheap eyeliner in wild colors with a note that said “If you are gonna ugly cry, ugly cry rainbows”
-Showing up after it is cool (I love dropping a new baby gift 3-6 months in, after the others have stopped but the hormones have not)
-If it is a long term hospital stay (more than 2 nights) spoil the nurses station - we brought caffeine drinks during the last one, but I’ve done bagels and good coffee as well
- A long distance friend sends my birthday card a month late every year so that my birthday is a longer celebration
- I love giving mini bottles of Möet for the overlooked life moments that don’t have a party
-Fancy olive oil and balsamic vinegar for both new houses and when houses are paid off
- I send my friends’ moms texts when they become grandmas
- I hosted a baby shower for a very overwhelmed mom to be. I asked her the theme and the date and then told everyone else it was a surprise party so they wouldn’t ask her questions. And we did a group gift of the big ticket items and I put a bow on it because she said she did not want people staring at her while she opened the gifts.
- One friend just lost her husband, the biggest thing for her is making sure she still feels seen. It may not be every day, but letting her know I know how awesome she is has been a big focus
- Just show up. Even if you are told to leave it on the porch, even if showing up is via DoorDash or Amazon, even if showing up is accidentally sending macarons to the person with a nut allergy 🙈 people won’t forget how you made them feel
My favorite way to love on my friends is to hand write them letters and send them in the mail!! There's just something about snail mail that hits differently ❤️
Just any time I can drop off a meal when a husband is out of town or when I know life is busy!!! And I always try to throw in a quick breakfast, too
Starbucks makes it too easy to send gift cards to cover an afternoon coffee pick-me-up!