a gameplan for hosting thanksgiving
and what to bring if you're a guest
We’re 17 days away from the biggest cooking day of the year, y’all! On Saturday, we shared a recipe for sheet-pan turkey meatballs that would make a wonderful Thanksgiving meal, if you’re cooking for just your immediate family and don’t want to have a ton of leftovers. Today, we’re back with a roundup of my top tips for cooking and hosting a more classic Thanksgiving feast. Keep reading for a menu formula, a timeline for when to cook it all, tips for feeding picky eaters, my go-to Thanksgiving recipes, and more.
PS, if you’re not hosting this year, scroll down to the “what to say when guests ask, ‘what can I bring?’” section for some suggestions on what you can contribute!
To start, I’d like to offer a friendly reminder that, if you’re the host, you do not need to cook everything for this meal from scratch. I’ve had years when I did indeed cook our entire feast from scratch. I’ve had years when I’ve picked up some (or all!) of the meal from a local caterer, restaurant, market, or Whole Foods. And I’ve had years when we bagged cooking altogether and ate at a restaurant instead.
All of these options are good options! If outsourcing all or part of the meal would make you a less stressed host, I highly recommend that you do it. What’s important is that you are able to enjoy time with the family and friends who have gathered to be with you — not that your spread is worthy of a magazine cover.
Whether you’re cooking everything yourself or outsourcing parts of it to guests and/or a local restaurant, it’s typically the host’s job to map out what will be served. So, as you wrap your head around what will be on your menu, here’s what I consider to be the perfect formula for a Thanksgiving feast for anywhere from 7 to 12 people.
If you’re cooking for a smaller crew (6 people or less), I recommend that you nix either the stuffing or the soft, slouchy thing and one of the veggie sides. And if you’re cooking for a bigger crew (like more than 12), I suggest you double or triple the turkey friends (stuffing, cranberry, gravy), salad, and soft, slouchy sides and veggie dishes.
You do not have to have a sea of unique side dishes, I promise! Having an edited-down menu generally leads to a better eating and cooking experience across the board.
How big of a turkey should I buy?
The first step in figuring out how big of a turkey to buy is this: do you want to have leftover turkey to make soups, sandwiches, and casseroles with? If you do (I always do!!), I recommend getting 1 1/2 pounds of turkey per adult and 3/4 pound per turkey-eating child. If you don’t want a lot of leftovers, I’d go with 1 pound per adult and 1/2 pound per child. I know, 1 1/2 pounds of meat sounds like a lot! But we’re accounting for the weight of the carcass, etc. Here’s a cheat sheet in case it helps. Also: You may have to buy and cook two turkeys, if your group is big enough!
How long does it take for a frozen turkey to thaw?
Longer than you’d expect!!! Frozen turkeys need a lot of time to thaw, and underestimating turkey thaw time is one of the most classic Turkey Day snafus out there. How long it’ll take depends entirely on how big a bird you have. You need to allow 1 full day of thawing time for each 4 to 5 pounds of weight. So if your turkey weighs 16 pounds, it will take about 4 days to thaw. Be sure to leave time before the big day to brine your turkey, too!
How do you prep your turkey?
I almost always go with a dry brine, which simply entails coating the bird in a TON of salt and seasonings for between 24 and 72 hours before it’s time to roast. This yields turkey meat that is moist and flavorful rather than dry and boring. I brine it, set it on a deep rimmed dish, wrap it tightly in plastic, and put it in the fridge typically 2 days before I plan to roast it. The day before Thanksgiving, I remove the plastic wrap but keep it in the fridge — this lets the skin dry out, which leads to crispy skin when cooked. Keep reading for turkey recipes I love that include specific dry brine (and cooking!) instructions.
PS, don’t forget to brine the inside of your bird! Before you brine it (or if you’re skipping a brine — before you cook it), you’ve gotta fish out the giblets and neck that will be in turkey’s cavity.
Do you stuff your bird?
I don’t cook “stuffing” inside my turkey, but I do stuff my turkey with aromatics before I roast it! I usually go with a chopped yellow onion, 2 garlic bulbs cut through the center to expose all of the bulbs, several sprigs of whatever herbs I have leftover from other dishes I’m making (sage, rosemary, thyme), 2 lemons, and some carrots and celery.
Unless it truly brings you extreme joy and zero stress to do everything yourself, don’t you dare say “nothing!” when a guest asks you what they can bring. Here are some specific elements of the meal that I recommend you outsource:
Outsource anything but the turkey! The host has to cook the turkey (in my opinion! Do you agree?), but guests are typically very excited to bring anything else. Be specific: “a roasted carrot side dish!” or “a fall-y kale salad with apples would be amazing!” or “a cheeseboard for people to graze on while we’re cooking!”
Dessert! Be specific if you’re hosting a lot of people so that you don’t wind up with three pumpkin pies.
Two bags of ice in a cooler, because there’s never room in the freezer for ice.
Wine. again, be specific: “two bottles of pinot noir, please!”
A fun cocktail. If you don’t have room in your kitchen for them to make cocktails, you can say “a big pitcher of cocktails and plastic cocktail glasses, please!”
If you’re going to be a guest for Thanksgiving, see above for specific elements of the meal that you can (should!) offer to bring. Always check with the host first and be specific!
If you have a huge kitchen and tons of people who want to cook all day long — FUN! Cook it all the day of (except for the things that need to happen ahead of time, like brining the turkey and getting the rolls started)! But if you’re working with limited oven space or limited sous chefs, I highly recommend cooking a lot of the meal ahead of time and in small chunks in the days leading up to Thanksgiving to minimize your work (and stress) the day of. Here’s a timeline you can follow:
Up to 6 days before Thanksgiving:
Make the cranberry sauce. Keep it stored in an airtight container in the fridge.
Take the turkey out of the freezer, if it’s still in there. It’ll take a few days to thaw since it’s so big, and it will then need time to brine. Allow 1 full day of thawing for each 4 to 5 pounds of weight. So if your turkey weighs 16 pounds, it will take about 4 days to thaw.
2-3 days before Thanksgiving:
Make the gravy base and store it in an airtight container in the fridge.
Make the salad dressing and store it in an airtight container in the fridge.
Make any desserts 1 to 2 days ahead, wrap them tightly in plastic, and refrigerate.
Season — AKA “dry brine” — the turkey.
1 day before Thanksgiving:
Uncover the turkey to let it dry out in the fridge.
Buy the bread or start making the rolls.
Prep the salad ingredients, but don’t salt anything or it will get watery. Wait until the day of to slice the apples, if you’re using them.
Every soft, slouchy side and vegetable dish can be cooked one day ahead of time (don’t garnish or sauce it though), and re-heated in the oven on whatever temperature it needs to be on for whatever else you’re cooking for 10 to 20 minutes right before the meal.
Set the table! Seriously, get this done at least a day ahead of time so you’re not scrambling around tracking down your fancy napkins on Thanksgiving.
On the day of:
First thing in the morning:
Bake then slice the turkey.
Finish cooking the gravy once you have the turkey drippings.
Assemble the salad.
Bake the rolls.
2-3 hours before you eat:
Put out any apps you’re serving.
1 hour before serving:
Warm anything that needs warming!
Garnish everything!
Pour yourself a drink or make a mocktail, relax, and enjoy!
If there’s a side dish that you know most of the kids will eat — like mac and cheese or mashed potatoes — and you also want to eat it that day, go for it! But do not stress about making additional food for picky eaters on Thanksgiving. You have enough going on! Instead, let them fill up on rolls or pie or crackers or Goldfish or yogurt pouches or whatever else they’d like that requires zero extra cooking on your part. Also: put a condiment they love on the table. Some of my boys will eat turkey when it’s been fully submerged in ketchup!
Try to ignore how much or what they are eating or not eating — today’s not the day you’re going to conquer picky eating habits! That said… no one wants hangry children running around, so here are a few ways to avoid hunger-induced meltdowns at the table/right after the dinner they didn’t eat:
Put out some zero-effort kid-friendly snacks before (or after!) dinner, like Skout Bars, yogurt pouches, hummus and veggies, cheese and crackers, Chex mix, fruit, etc.
If you have a lot of kids at the table, stock up on extra rolls. Most kids like bread!
Whether you’re the host or a guest, make sure your children eat lunch. That’s a great time to offer nutritious foods you know they’ll eat!
There are about a million Thanksgiving recipes out here on the Internet, so I thought it would be helpful to share a vetted list of recipes I’ve cooked and loved.
VERY SIMPLE APPETIZERS: I highly recommend going light and simple for Thanksgiving appetizers. Think something like crackers and bruschetta or hummus and veggies. I also love a fancy nut moment, like Olivia Noceda’s clove & orange spiced nuts.
TURKEY AND GRAVY: Ina Garten’s make-ahead turkey and gravy is truly elite. In it, you make and slice the turkey before the guests even arrive. It takes so, so much pressure off of the day, and is typically the recipe I use. Gaby Dalkin’s new herb-roasted turkey recipe also looks incredible.
It’s worth noting that if you hate turkey, you are allowed to buck tradition! You could serve roast chicken or rosemary garlic pork shoulder or a spiral-cut ham instead, if it would bring you joy.
CRANBERRY SAUCE: I like to try different cranberry sauce recipes from year to year. Last year I made Julia Turshen’s roasted cranberry sauce and it was excellent. I’ve also made and loved Ina’s.
STUFFING:
Ina Garten’s mushroom and leek bread pudding (I know it’s not technically stuffing, but trust me on this!)
Claire Saffitz’s cheesy sausage and sage stuffing
SALAD: I like a tangy vinegar-based dressing for Thanksgiving to cut through all of the rich food on the table. Here are four great options to choose from:
My perfect fall salad (without the chicken), with candied nuts.
If you have the bandwidth to roast butternut squash leading up to the feast, the autumn chop sans chicken would be perfect.
This red leaf lettuce and pear salad is crisp and crunchy and fresh.
And this pear and blue cheese salad is so easy and such a hit.
SOFT, SLOUCHY THING: I know many Thanksgiving tables across America will contain mac and cheese, mashed potatoes, and sweet potato casserole, and I think that’s great if it brings you joy! But like I showed in the menu formula above, I typically edit my feast down to just one. Here are some options to consider!
Mashed sweet potatoes by Kathryne Taylor of Cookie + Kate
VEGGIE DISHES: I like to go with one squash or root vegetable-y thing, and one green veg (usually green beans or Brussels sprouts). Some ideas:
Honey-roasted carrots with burrata and pistachios (make this!!!!!!)
Delicata squash over arugula with pomegranate seeds and toasted nuts
Bacon balsamic Brussels sprouts (buy the Brussels pre-sliced to make things easier!)
Apple cider roasted root vegetables by Alex Snodgrass
Roasted butternut squash and red onion with tahini and za’atar by
BREAD THING:
Fresh sourdough from a local bakery is always a good move. You know it’ll be homemade and delicious.
The best store-bought option from a standard grocery store IMO is Sister Schubert’s Parker House Style yeast rolls. They cannot be beat.
If you’re feeling ambitious, Alexandra Stafford’s no-knead pull apart rolls are unreal. But if you’re cooking the entire meal, I highly recommend you buy store-bought or ask someone to bring the bread thing and take that off your list!
Ina’s brown butter cornbread is so insanely delicious and very easy — I’m into cornbread as the Thanksgiving bread thing.
I am a firm believer that the guests should bring all of the desserts! I personally like to have one tangy dessert (key lime pie) and one rich dessert (pecan pie or a chess pie). That being said, if you are a guest bringing a dessert (or a host looking to assign them out!), here are ideas:
If you’re a guest flying somewhere for Thanksgiving (or you just don’t like baking!) and want to contribute something really special, I truly cannot recommend Cafe Panna’s Thanksgiving Pie ice cream 6-pack more highly. Their ice cream will change your life. Is $30 per pint steep? Yes. Will it feel really great when you’re not rushing around last minute trying to figure out something to contribute, and you can tell your hosts that you had the greatest ice cream of all time flown in from New York? Yes, yes it will.
zoe’s caramel apple pumpkin pie or chocolate pumpkin swirl bundt cake. The bundt cake is a bit of a project, but this post has an excellent video tutorial of Zoë baking it along with Andrew Zimmern, if you’re up for a project!
Local restaurants are always selling holiday specialty items this time of year! Here in Monterey, I know that my fave bakery Alta is selling pies.
Have any questions we didn’t cover here? Or a side dish you feel must have place on the table?!
Lead graphic photo credits: honey roasted carrots with burrata and pistachios and Boursin mashed potatoes by Breana Smith; photos of the turkey and pies via Getty Images.
We’ve done thanksgiving brunch when our kids needed to be at in-laws for the big meal & honestly everyone loved it! (And I preferred it!) We had turkey bacon, breakfast casserole with turkey sausage, pumpkin muffins, roasted potatoes, fresh fruit, cranberry mimosas. Just about any traditional thanksgiving food can be adjusted to fit brunch. Then I had the most relaxing remaining day to take a walk & snuggle with my husband!
For many decades, I was the one cooking hostingThanksgiving dinner.
Then the out-of-towners would arrive and it would get more and more crowded and noisy and of course people having drinks and then someone would come into the kitchen and say OK I’ll make the gravy and boy did she make good gravy but that’s when everything fell apart. That’s when all the stress hit everyone’s hungry everyone’s ready and everything’s coming together at the same time and there’s one big butt in the kitchen making gravy… Finally, I decided that’s when I will go to the boutique grocery store and buy two bags of gourmet gravy.
That’s what I’ve done every year and I’m telling you what ….it saves Thanksgiving