the beauty of low expectations, fun halloween decor, and my amazon faves

so into that #43

We’ve finally dipped below 90 degrees here in Carmel Valley, so though I’m currently poolside on a mid-80s day with my kids during their fall break, fall has arrived, in the way that it does in California. Halloween is on the horizon — decorations are going up, costumes are being made (JK, bought from Amazon), and pumpkins are being picked.

We’re entering the bam-bam-bam holiday season — Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years. My first few years as a mom during the holidays I felt such pressure (self-inflicted!) to do all of the Holiday Things. Can someone explain why I felt the need to take a one year old apple picking when I — a then-30-year-old woman — had never once felt the desire to go apple picking? I decided to do it for the first time with a baby who was hot, hungry, and tired? One who didn’t even have the ability to form memories of said apple orchard?! What the actual f^*k?!

Wait, actually, this will be good — can you all please share the craziest/least necessary thing you’ve done with your children because you felt like you had to in the name of holiday fun?! Here’s a picture of Mattis dressed up like… I don’t even know what? on Easter Sunday when he was four months old. We didn’t even leave the house!!!! I bought those shoes and socks especially for this outfit?! What…??!!

And here’s a pumpkin-patch framer from Molly: I remember forcing this day so hard. It was 75 degrees out and yet I dressed us all in sweaters? Eli was a colicky infant and rode around in a wheelbarrow the entire time minus a brief stint for THIS photo op.

OK, your turn — tell us the craziest/funniest/least necessary thing you’ve done with your kids to try to make holiday *MAGIC*! We’ll send one of you a Halloween decor bundle (the floating witch hats, big spiders, and oversized yard web — see below for visuals!).

I’ve learned over time and after many ill-fitting holiday-themed outfits that the key to enjoying the holidays (or any major event) with kids is to let go of the image you have in your head of what it should look like — and also to temper your expectations. You might not get that cute pumpkin picture because your toddler’s having a meltdown over not getting to bring home the biggest pumpkin in the patch. Just because *you* wanted it to be a really special day doesn’t mean *they* are any less of a three year old.

You’ll probably end up making boxed mac and cheese on Thanksgiving, despite there being literally 20 home-cooked dishes to choose from, because picky eaters don’t take holidays off. Your entire family might get Covid for Christmas (been there, done that). And you will definitely fall asleep before midnight on New Year’s Eve and wonder if you’re the only losers falling asleep before midnight on New Year’s Eve (you’re not!).

I find that when I go into the festive season with low expectations (vs. visions of everything being THE MOST FUN and picture perfect), things end up being much more fun, funny, and joyful for everyone involved. You can’t force fun!

Low expectations + not doing things YOU don’t want to do = the highest likelihood for fun to be had and joy to be felt by all.

PS, pumpkin carving is a skippable event, IMO, until you trust your children with sharp knives! Let them draw all over them with sharpies instead! Does that make me October Scrooge? So be it!

carochambers

A post shared by @carochambers

One holiday tradition that I DO love and that hasn’t failed me yet is making chili for Halloween. We live in a dud trick or treating neighborhood since we're on a mountain, so we go down to the flat neighborhood by the river where our friends Jess and James live in a log cabin. Jess is an amazing hostess and cook — being in the kitchen with her is my favorite — and this will be our third year going there. The past two years we've done chili and cornbread and then gone trick or treating, but we've decided to flip it this year and go trick or treating first, then head back to their house for the kids to play and for us to be able to enjoy the chili a bit more.

Last year I was in the middle of home renovation + book editing + crawling baby insanity, so I showed up with only cornbread from Whole Foods. But this year I plan to make the white chicken chili from the book, and Jess always makes a beefy chili (I love this one if you need a recipe). One white chili, one beef chili, all the toppings, and cornbread are the perfect Halloween meal. 

I also plan to feed the kids something I know they’ll inhale before we trick or treat so they actually eat something besides sugar over the course of the night.

Turns out that Jillian (my righthand lady), Molly (editor of WTC), and I all share a love of Halloween decor. And not the porch full of heirloom pumpkin and mums kind (though that’s beautiful! we love that look!); but no — the oversized arachnid and inflatable ghost kind. If you’re one of us, here’s what we’ve got:

1. Jillian ties these “floating” witch hats around a beam in her living room, but you could tack them into the ceiling or on a front porch. I’ve already ordered a set for my house too.

2. These giant spiders are on my roof! The boys are obsessed.

3. This giant mesh spider web is currently jutting off the side of Molly’s house.

4. Also from Molly: These are a splurge but my friend Virginia gave me a set of Mollie Jenkins clay ghosts for my birthday a few years ago (I’m a Halloween baby!) and I absolutely adore them.

5. We’re all eying these inflatables that are on sale right now. Also THESE (though they’re not on sale). My mother-in-law sent a tacky Halloween inflatable when Mattis was one and I’ll be honest, I was a little annoyed. See, I was still trying to be a “fairy tale pumpkins and mums” kind of fall girly — I hadn’t yet entered my tacky decoration era. But OH my, the joy that tacky blow-up decor brings my children is unmatched! And they bring the whole neighborhood so much joy! I’ve realized that I love tacky for Halloween, and I love tasteful for Christmas — draping the house in wreaths and garland makes me feel HAPPY.

• Sending donations to those impacted by Hurricane Helene, prepping to support Floridians bracing for Milton, and sending SO MUCH LOVE to everyone currently uprooted and/or evacuated from their home. As a reminder, I’ve started a fundraiser for World Central Kitchen, an organization that helps provide food and water to communities impacted by natural disasters, on Instagram. We’re getting close to $20,000 worth of donations! Go to my IG profile or their site if you’d like to contribute — even a dollar makes a difference.

collage on the right curated and shared by Kelly Williams of the Midimalist — go read her article on wardrobe “hero items” and “PdRs”!

• “Soup soirées,” a concept that What to Cooker Caroline introduced us to in the WTC group chat. (Come join the chat if you haven’t already!)

  

  Speaking of soups: in case you missed it, we sent out the official what to cook soup handbook on Monday with an index of soup recipes from both the newsletter and book, my top soup making tips, and more!

• Investing in “hero items” and “PdRs.” From Molly: I absolutely love the advice

  Kelly Williams
  of
  Midimalist
  shares here on the power of incorporating PdRs (pièce de résistance) and Hero items into otherwise minimalist outfits. I've been pregnant or postpartum for so long that I’m enjoying reading more about fashion and actually putting thought into getting dressed again versus just slapping together an outfit. This gives me a good framework for adding to my closet in a thoughtful way!

Amazon has a Prime sale going on right now and so many of my tried-and-trues are on major sale¹! Here are a few items that I highly recommend — click here for my full list.

• I live in this sweatshirt. It feels like it's from Lululemon and is currently half off (bringing it to under $25!).

• I'm getting this Nat Geo dinosaur advent calendar for my boys this year.

• This is a very good kitchen knife for a very good price. I've said it before but crappy or dull knives make cooking so much harder than it needs to be.

• A good salad spinner is a kitchen necessity in my opinion, and OXO's is the best I’ve tried.

• The 3 for the price of 2 sale continues on my book! Stock up for teachers' gifts, holiday gifting, etc. etc.!

• This Tramontina is one of my favorite nonsticks.

• This is the bounce house that I own and have used at least once a week since lockdown. Jillian bought a bigger, more fun version recently and was kind enough to bring it over for my birthday party, which was really a kid party cuz dang, so many kids.

• There are lots of cute Halloween costumes — and good candy! — on sale right now.

• These are my fave $20 headphones that are truly better and more comfortable than $200 AirPods.

• If you haven't joined the Magnolia Parks Universe yet, what're you waiting for?! The first book in the series is currently half off. (Listen to my chat with its author Jessa Hastings here!)

• Vitamix blenders really are worth the hype. They're also a major investment! If you've been saving up for one, you should know that it’s on sale at the moment!

• Wide-leg sweater pants — need I say more?

• They’re not pictured above, but my fave high-waisted workout shorts + ribbed tank combo that I wear on IG all the time are also on sale.

What to Cook launched in December 2020, meaning there are more than 175 recipes in the archives! Here’s what we cooked this week last year, and the year before that, and the year before that.

Sheet-pan macadamia-crusted halibut, 2023

Oh, hey again, halibut! This delicious meal kicked off our October edition of the really simple meal plan series. It’s easy, seasonal, so impressive feeling, and very tasty.

Tortilla scramble by Mark Bittman, 2022

Esteemed food journalist and prolific author Mark Bittman — whose books helped teach me how to cook! — shared this perfectly doable vegetarian dinner back when I was on maternity leave with Cashel. Make it asap!

Turkey cheddar meatloaf, 2021

Do not underestimate the meatloaf. It’s been ending household contention for years!

1. These are on sale at the time of hitting send this newsletter, but prices fluctuate within a day, so if it doesn’t look like it’s discounted, the sale on it might be over.