my two cents on kid birthday parties, sex after having kids...

AND A COVER REVEAL OF ANNABEL MONAGHAN'S NEW BOOK!!!!

Hi!

There are a lot of new readers here so I wanted to take a quick sec to give you the lowdown on this newsletter. First of all, hi, I’m Caroline Chambers and I write the Substack newsletter What To Cook When You Don’t Feel Like Cooking. (I also just published a book with the same title, which may be how you found me!)

When I started What to Cook in 2020, it was a once-weekly recipe subscription. As the WTC community has grown over the years, I’ve expanded what I share here and now also send a once-weekly email called So Into That (you’re reading it right now!!), in which I — along with WTC’s longtime editor Molly Ramsey, and occasionally guests! — share what we’re into, up to, thinking about, seeing, reading, and loving lately, outside of just the world of food. Every Saturday you’ll receive an exclusive recipe that takes under an hour, dirties minimal dishes, and requires very little skill, but has big, wonderful, restaurant-worthy flavor. Every Wednesday you’ll receive So Into That. Put another way: Saturday newsletters will help you decide what to cook for dinner, while Wednesday emails are filled with topics we’d be chatting about over that meal!

We are always thinking about how to continue growing and improving What to Cook and have big plans for how to expand what we provide here to help cooking be as easy and enjoyable for you as possible. We love hearing from our readers, so please shoot us a note if you have an idea!!

What should we cook this fall/winter?!

The cool down is happening, people!! I’m so excited to develop recipes for cooler weather (this Saturday’s recipe is an autumnal flavor bomb!). Do you have any ingredient or recipe requests as I brainstorm more fall WTC meals? A specific fall veg you’d like to see? Any amazing seasonal specials at your favorite local restaurant? Gimme all the inspo!! If I pick your idea to develop I’ll send ya something special!

Let’s talk about kids’ birthday parties.

Monday was my third son Cashel’s second birthday, and I shared on instagram that we did the bare minimum to celebrate. I got a lot of “thank you for sharing this, I have such guilt about not throwing Instagram-worthy birthday parties!” messages. And it got me thinking:

Birthday parties are for the parents

I just want to say this for anyone who needs to hear it: Birthday parties before age 5 are really for the parents. You do not need to throw your 1 year old a party unless it sounds fun to YOU. If you are in the mood to throw a party and wrap up lots of gifts, do it! But if you don’t want to do it, don’t! And release the guilt that will try to hunt you down and force you to panic-order a piñata for overnight delivery. That guilt has no place here.

A birthday party can take many shapes

I now have 11 kid birthdays under my belt (5+4+2!), and I’ve done everything from *absolutely nothing* to throwing a massive cowboy party with a keg for the adults and a pony for the kids. One year I celebrated by taking Mattis (my 5 year old), Calum (my 4 year old), and some cupcakes to the fire station — they blew out their candles to a crowd of friendly first responders. Another year (Calum’s first birthday), I hosted a full-blown lobster boil. I can say with 100% certainty that every single kid felt equally loved, adored, and celebrated on every single occasion.

For Cash’s second birthday last night, he, Calum, and I sat on the kitchen floor and sang the happy birthday song a million times. I let him eat ice cream until he was literally spinning around in circles speaking jibberish. It was perfect. We called each of these celebrations “parties.” We sang, we ate some sort of treat, we smooched our babies and told them how much we loved them. And that’s what makes a birthday great!

Party favors ain’t for me

One final thought on the topic: I have never and will never (famous last words) do “goodie bags” or party favors. I love when other parties give them out and think it’s so thoughtful, but it’s not for me! And it doesn’t need to be for you unless you’re really into it. A lot of kids’ sports teams are also now giving goodie bags instead of regular snacks and I think it’s SO LOVELY — but it’s also not for me! I’ll be showing up with orange slices!

Are you as passionate about this topic as I am!?

As promised, this week’s So Into That is an AMA (ask me anything). But before we get into it, here are a handful of things that we’re into at the moment, starting with A VERY EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT FROM MY FRIEND AND ROMANCE AUTHOR CRUSH, ANNABEL MONAGHAN!!!!

1. Guys, what you’re looking at here is THE EXCLUSIVE COVER REVEAL of Annabel Monaghan’s next book, It’s a Love Story, which will be out May 27, 2025!!! Annabel’s team sent me an early manuscript of the novel (officially one of my proudest achievements to date, btw — I feel like Miranda Priestly’s daughters reading Harry Potter). I’m a few pages in and IT IS SO GOOD. A lovable female lead, a rival turned potential love interest, that cover (!!!) — this book has all the ingredients of another perfect summer read. I know I don’t have to tell you how important pre-orders are to the success of a book at this point, so just pre-order it here if you love Annabel and her books as much as I do. And if you haven’t read any of her books yet, start with Nora!

2. I finally tried a menstrual cup after being harassed by many friends for many years. Loved it! Then lost it. Accidentally bought menstrual discs, and found I loved them even more. I like these disposable discs that you throw away at the end of each period, but they also make reusable discs. And a lot of my friends swear by this cup. You can take this quiz to find out which product is right for you!

3. Cashy baby got a lotta love on this Oso and Me set on IG the other day (use code CARO15 for a discount!) so I gathered my other faves to share here. I really go gaga for a baby in a sweat set.

4. From Molly, WTC’s editor, who is freshly back from maternity leave: My #1 most-cherished item for baby boy number three has been my BabyBjorn carrier. When Cole isn’t napping on the floor in true third-child fashion, he’s typically snoozing in here while I cook, clean, walk the dog, type, hold my big boys’ melting popsicles (as shown), etc. etc. I have a wrap option too, but always find myself coming back to the carrier because it’s just so easy to plop him into (my postpartum brain can never remember how those long cloth wraps work!). I also love that in a few months I’ll be able to use it with him outward facing.

5. Also from Molly: I’m currently living in these $28 wide-leg jeans. I used to be an anti-jeans, exclusively-leggings girl, but somehow these are more comfortable than athleisure?!

   Note from Caro: My #1 advice to mom friends who are trying to “feel like themselves” again post-baby is to head to Gap or Old Navy and buy a great pair of inexpensive jeans in their current size! It’s hard to feel like yourself when none of your clothes fit right — go buy some jeans that fit your current, wonderful body!

Alright, now onto your questions!!

Any “regrettably worth it” splurges? —Anna

The tile in our kitchen, and the Celine bucket bag (here it is secondhand from The RealReal!) that I bought myself when I signed my cookbook deal and am always too embarrassed to say where it’s from when people ask me because I never spend this kind of money on things. I feel very happy when I see/use both of these things. Oh and having a third child, haha.

Will you be resuming the podcast? I know you've had SO SO SO much going on with the book tour, but I'm just wondering if the plan is to eventually pick it back up? I absolutely adore the podcast but know it takes a lot of time and energy!! —Catherine

I am so, so grateful that you love the podcast. *I* love the podcast. My plan was to get through book tour and pick it back up, but I’ve had to accept that right now in my life I don’t have the bandwidth to give it the time and energy that it deserves to really thrive. But I desperately miss the conversations! I’m definitely not saying goodbye forever, but I don’t have plans to start it back up right now. (PS, if you’re new here, So Into That the weekly email was actually born from So Into That, a weekly podcast!)

I have a cooking question! Why do your recipes call for “sausage with the casings removed” instead of just using ground pork/beef/etc.? —MV

Oh wow, great niche question. I can see how removing the casings and squeezing out the sausage might seem like a waste of time, but sausage is so wonderfully seasoned and spiced, so it’s a great WTC-style shortcut ingredient! Instead of having to add 10+ spices to a recipe, sausage already has all of them in it! I also love using bulk sausage (aka sausage that doesn’t come packed in casings) whenever possible to avoid the weird sausage casing condom removal.

NYC last-minute fall break trip with kids! Where to stay? What to do? —Sara

Stay at the Soho Grand — decent sized rooms and rates, and perfect location. I have an entire map of NYC kid things! The magnatiles experience was honestly so fun for me, Mattis, and his godmama, Lily.

I’m going to add a paywall here because I talk about some family stuff, substance use, sex after kids, and other personal things below!